I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize