At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
