I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
