We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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