its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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