I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
