Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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