yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
