We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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