Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
