And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this just has baby written all over it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
