you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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