His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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