He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
