He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
