i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
