There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize