Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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