We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
