what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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