How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
