Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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