I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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