no you cant smoke seaweed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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