Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
kristin has been a bad kristin
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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