Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
