Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize