Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have aggressive nipples.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
