How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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