end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
