He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
