can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize