Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
