i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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