Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
