Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
