tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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