i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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