dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
