How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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