DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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