Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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