My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
