You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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