i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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