he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
