Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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