just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize