1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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