omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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