i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
