wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
