That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
