yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
