that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You are a genius and a whore.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
