4 words: hood of his car
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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