toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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