I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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