If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
