Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
two words: eviction party
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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