yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
