Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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