So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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