Don't EVER smell your tampon
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
